The Citadel

To dogma or not to dogma, that is the question!

"On Trail Ridge Road, CO" photo - Wendy Bradtke 2007 (C)

Learning about what Meditation is, has always been as much part of
the journey as the practice itself. That's because I'm aware of its two
schools, eastern and western respectively. I'll admit its not always been
easy for me as a western person to bridge both ways, in fact its
downright confusing. The eastern way is focused upon breaking down the
personal, whereas the western way is about developing the individual.

One school views physical living as a sphere of suffering to be escaped by
ending the cycle of incarnation. The other welcomes physical life by believing
that divinity can only be truly experienced by living fully. Its hard for
mish mash mind to reconcile these two seeming opposites, and mine tussles
with them frequently. Mish mash likes everything easily cataloged and pat.
It can then loll around with a smug look, thinking yes, I have it all figured!

But the universe itself is a great confounder.

The riddle-maker-who-lives-in-the-sky deals in ambiguity and contradiction,
subtle things that don't fit into neat mish mash pleasing boxes. It can make
a meditator tear at their hair deciding which road, east or west, to skip down.
Its timely to remember as you try to make sense of "meditational rules" that
rules don't define the creator. Its the creation rather that does the defining.

The creator can be observed in its creation.

So the universe can show us our own way of moving through its labyrinth.
We can do it without subscribing to any dogmas', east or west. Its good to note
that the worlds larger religions do not own the skinny on the "right" way to meditate.
Its so worth reminding yourself that minor and lesser know philosophies also have
made major contributions. Its wise to study widely, with a very questioning
mind before investing in any belief system no matter how venerable
it may seem. Too often have I watched people try to pour their lives into set
molds to find none of them fit with great relevance.

What we need to have foremost in our minds is that the universe is paradoxical
by nature. It confounds us to question our conditioned responses, to help us change
our realities in ways that support its own, and our own, evolution. Too often dogma
invites us to repeat the past.

Our aim in meditation should be to flesh out the tools to help us climb our own personal
mountain. That may be to curl up in the bosom of the Divine, or infinitely expand our beings.

Either, or any way we practice, it should support us in finding choice.

Much love, Wendy.

Ego centredness

Sometimes I am astounded by ego centredness. In as much as you can be so blind to it. How bound up in an ego drama you can be, and how often there is a need to step out of that and find some perspective. Now isnt that real non-attachment? To find perspective in life and focus on its fullness rather than a sense of lack? Isn't it always the ego that cries out there isnt enough? Whereas in reality aren't we often drowning in too much?

How can our minds crammed so full still seek out even more facts and stimulus in order to find the peace that comes from letting go of thoughts? Yet we do.

Patanjali wrote that one of the foundations of an enlightened mind is contentment. Its a not a contentment that grows from a sense of something achieved, but from something that always is. Its not from climbing to the top of the mountain, because the ego always glimpses a taller peak. Its about being on the mountain top wherever you are and never minding if its the tallest. Then the view in every direction is more than enough.

Om.

I'm meditating, why am I still so damned stressed?

So, you've been meditating regularly and you'€™re wondering why you're
still stressed? You'€™ve experienced some peak meditations where you felt
perfection was just a breath away and you're wondering whether you are
getting it right? Well it's possible you are dealing with some of the pervasive
myths about meditation.

One myth is that meditation is about attaining a state where upsetting
things just bounce off, or being so on top of stress that you'€™re impervious
to it. You know those ideas don't sound like real living and I don'€™t think
meditation was ever meant to work that way. But that doesn'™t mean meditation
can't relieve stress, it can.

Meditation certainly helps with the "€œbounce back"€ from stress, but what about
the "bounce off"€? We need to ask what we are trying to do when we meditate.
Certainly we are making an inner refuge, but are our own expectations
undermining our attempts to find calm and peace?

So how does our expectation of meditation colour our experience? Let'€™s clear
our expectation of instant nirvana, and embrace the transparency that meditation
gives us. My own experience of meditation is it makes me aware of my personal
shortcomings, and helps me to love and accept them. Meditation is so much
more about self acceptance than we ever realize. As we know ourselves better,
it signposts us on the way to becoming more loving and forgiving of others.
We see begin to see inside another person, what we see in ourselves.
This is a significant signpost of maturity in meditation, often hard won.

That'™s because when we meditate, we are breaking down our sense
of separateness to our inner self, and then to other people. Source
isn't in the business of faking Nirvana, it wants us to have the real deal,
and help us deal with stress head on. None of us is/are separate in any
real sense. We are all made of the same omnipresent energy and
vibration. When we grasp this as actual, the real path of compassion
unveils itself. Until then, I think practicing compassion, no matter how
heart felt, is noble mental posturing.

So that'€™s the thing, the work on acceptance of our self, (all of it including
the messy parts), that allows us to embrace and accept the process of living. 

Where it takes us on our quest to deal with stress, depends on our
ability to read signposts along the way. But as soon as we actualize
a compassionate viewpoint, we gain the instant peace of comprehending
another person€'™s way as our own. It's a subtle but powerful shift.
It opens the door to self understanding and to human understanding.
Inevitably, it is a powerful tool to dissolving our stress.

Meditatively questing for real self acceptance, and sourcing it as a
quality that springs naturally from within, will undermine stress at its
roots. Self acceptance is an expression of your authenticity. When
you cultivate that, it becomes the art rather than the €œcode€ by
which you live, and love.   

Blessings, Wendy xx